Flee
by ada511
Summary: M/R, Mal & the crew meet up with Inara a few years after Miranda. Rated for one bad word.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Flee**

**Summary: Mal and the crew get a job from an old friend.**

**A/N: OH this is pure selfish writing. Creating a situation in which Mal and Inara could fight and have out all this baggage that I am so clearly prejudiced about.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or this universe**

"So, tell me again how happened by my ship again..." Mal asked with apparent ease of the two people he was moments away from striking a deal with.

"Well, to be honest, we were directed to you." The men - both working men, clean but tanned and hardened by labor, glanced at each other as if sharing in a juicy piece of gossip.

It wasn't that Mal was ever not cautious; carefree just wasn't a word that described him, but he tended to get extra cautious when things came too easy. Like simple, legal, well paying jobs for example. He was about to turn to say something to River only to find that she wasn't there where she'd been a few seconds ago. The hairs on his arm stood up.

Mal whipped around, trying to spot her. River hadn't just walked away, she'd become suddenly scarce. From the looks the men were giving him, they hadn't noticed her at all. Mal cursed; this didn't mean danger; No, what it meant was that there was something all kinds of awkward about to come up. Bullets, assassins, bombs, zombies - you name it River didn't shy away. But the odd intricacies between people that she didn't quite understand - she ran like a hare from a fox. Mal sighed and encouraged the men to get on with it... as nicely as he could without growling.

"An old friend of yours said you could use the money," They didn't nudge each other, but they looked Mal up and down like a meat carcass on the hook.

"Old friend huh?" Mal tapped his fingers on his belt impatiently as his mind ran to River and what sort of 'old friend' would cause her to skedaddle. What sort of long ago, ill advised tryst of his had she picked up on from these two clods' brains?

"Yeah - a lady friend."

As if he hadn't already figured that out from Knights of the Obvious here, Mal rolled his eyes, "Color me surprised."

"Used to be a Companion..."

Okay that actually was a surprise; Inara. No wonder River had turned tail, "Used to be?"

"Pledged to my boss now."

"Ah." Mal's mouth was suddenly very dry, but he played off his reaction the best he could. He finalized the details with the men of when and where to meet, accepted an old fashioned envelope in which he was assured there was an old fashioned invitation and went to find where his oddly old fashioned lover had gotten herself to.

She wasn't waiting for him in the bay; he had half a mind to stick a head into their quarters, but changed his mind. He was being stupid. River could not possibly be upset. She knew how he felt - she did. She knew there was no threat. Hell, River knew better than he did just how he felt about everything - most of all how he felt about being with her. She'd probably known before he felt anything that he would someday feel something. So no, he wasn't going chasing after her for nothing. He found Zoe in the kitchen with Jayne and gave them a heads up that they wouldn't be heading off planet empty.

He called for Kaylee, let her know the approximate weight, type and size of the cargo they were about to take on so she could ready Serenity; And since he was there, made a rude comment to Simon just for the pleasure of winding the guy up.

And, when he'd naturally made his way there, he'd found River on the bridge plotting a course for the new job. All business. Not cold, not warm. He stayed longer maybe than he normally would when there was a job to get ready for. But when she didn't volunteer anything one way or the other, he decided to stop nattering. It wasn't like she needed his help navigating. And he didn't need her help moving crates around the bay.

"Inara just sent another note. Supplemental information to the other note." Mal froze in mid-exit out of the bridge. River spoke to him over her shoulder, "She'd like you to go to the estate early."

"All right, well, we can make that work - pass it around to every..."

"Just you."

"O...Kay..." Mal turned his eyes skyward, "Do you happen to know why?"

River hadn't moved, "The note didn't say."

Mal turned the rest of the way around so that he'd just performed a broken pirouette, "Maybe the note needs help."

"The note isn't psychic."

"Right, but the messenger is."

"Mal, I won't."

Mal had his fists against his hips, trying to work out if she was saying she wouldn't look into that bit of the future or wouldn't look into Inara's intentions or if she already knew and just wouldn't tell him. Not that it mattered the end result was the same, "I don't like goin' in blind."

"I don't like sending you in tilted."

"Uh -"

River tripped over the words, "Biased, prejudiced, inclined to see things my way because of the way I say them."

"I _like_ seeing things the way you... say them."

Something like a smile played on her mouth for a moment, but she didn't bend, "She's not going to shoot you."

That was not the sort of ambush Mal was concerned about. A very long string of curse words flew through his brain. River raised her eyebrows skyward. And with one more minute of letting the silence get to him, Mal let it pass... he wasn't sure he trusted his thoughts right at this moment anyway, but something about this didn't sit well with him. Like maybe she thought she knew something about his thoughts that he didn't.

Not nearly long enough later, Inara smiled generously at him in the entryway of her home, "I thought it might be nice to meet privately first."

Mal entered into the hug she offered, "Yeah, uh, it is." He pat her on her back and stepped away, "You doing well?"

She smiled wryly, "Yes, very well. Yourself?"

"Good. Doin' good. Flush."

"You're not hurting for business then? Maybe I shouldn't have sent the foreman out to you. I just saw Serenity's call sign on the entry logs and couldn't resist."

"No, no - I mean, we're doing well - of course - but jobs are always welcome." Mal wished he'd brought his hat, so he'd have something to hold, something to occupy his hands, which dangled awkwardly at his sides.

"Why, 'of course'?! That's quite a shift from the old days - what sort of crystal ball... OH." Inara smiled again mischievously, "River."

"River." They both spoke her name at the same time as Inara came to the conclusion just as Mal supplied the answer.

They both laughed. Then Inara's pristine features arranged themselves into concern, "River really is doing better then? No more running wild in the cargo bay?"

Mal rocked back on his heals, really really hoped he wasn't blushing, "Yes, erm- River's great. She's - well, she's become... something else."

Inara nodded, smiling as she misinterpreted his discomfort, "And everyone else? Are Simon and Kaylee still together?"

Mal inclined his head, "Everyone else is good too - yup... Simon & Kaylee are still together." He knew all his answers were too short, too pat- he struggled to fill in some fluff, "I think they'd bicker more if Kaylee paid any attention to how often Simon rolls his eyes at her, but..." Mal shrugged, hurried to fill the silence, "It works for them. Jayne is still Jayne, Zoe - still... she's doing -."

By the end of some excruciating small talk, Mal almost felt like he had his bearings with her again. He had always enjoyed her. She was quick witted and gracious as she spoke about her new circumstances, her new home. Lovely as always, and maybe even a tad, just a tad, humbled by her domestication. Overall, Mal thought she had found her place and for that he was glad. Still, when they were interrupted by Inara's husband a while later Mal practically jumped up in his eagerness shake the man's hand and start talking business... or about the man's home... or theoretical mathematics, just as long as it got Mal out of the conversation he had just been in.

They had been invited to dinner, of course, the whole crew. Mal didn't have a chance to go back to Serenity to re-enter with them - they would all just meet... together. One big happy family... plus a few new faces... Mal was suddenly and inexplicably glad he had a gun.

Mal fidgeted, stood in a receiving line of sorts next to Inara and her husband, Jensen, as everyone filed out of the shuttle. Inara grasped onto each of them individually like old friends, except for River. Mal tried hard not to let the frown show on his face; would he have noticed that if he and River were not together? River was the last in the line, purposely ignoring his gaze - of this he was sure... and then he remembered. Companions were supposed to be experts on reading people. And Mal knew on pure instinct that River didn't want to be read by Inara.

Now, sure, maybe there wasn't exactly a perfect way to reveal to someone he'd once loved and who had once fancied herself... (what? able to maybe sort of have a crush on him?) that he and River were together now. But he was surprised that River was going through quite this much of an effort to avoid just such a conversation. Mal stared at her, sent a thought her way, _You'll share chambers with me on the same ship as your kin - your brother - how is this so different?_

Inara had been pulled into a conversation with Simon and Kaylee so River allowed herself a roll of her eyes and continued to look at no one in particular. Mal shook his head, _What do you think he thinks we do in there anyway? Embroider stuff?_

Finally she met his eye, and Mal was damn sure that if he was psychic, the message she would have just sent him was a simple and emphatic _Shh!_

Mal gave up and tried to act like a normal person. If he followed River's example and kept his eyes off her, he found he could do a pretty fair imitation of being someone NOT hiding the most incredible change in his life since the war, so hurrah to him.

By the time they were sat at dinner the only person Mal was worried about spilling the beans now was Jayne. Everyone else would have the good manners to stay quiet. At least in public. Mal wondered how he could keep Kaylee from talking Inara's ear off in private. He met Simon's eye down the table and realized they were on the same wavelength for once. Mal gave him a pointed stare to which Simon responded with a look that could not have said, "I'm working on it" better than if he'd actually spoken it.

Mal almost smiled, he hadn't noticed how good the crew had become at communicating non-verbally. River's influence seemed to have changed them all; Made them all so much more aware of the constant undercurrents in every situation.

Zoe kicked Mal in the shin to alert him that he was ignoring conversation from Jensen's assistant - the guy who had most of the intel on the actual job. So, right, perhaps they were all more aware of the constant undercurrents in every situation and less aware of the simple reality on the surface. Maybe he should have a crew meeting about leaving the psychic business to the reader.

He redoubled his efforts to pay attention, but when he could take it no longer, he gave up and took advantage of his newly realized pseudo - psychic crew: He kicked Zoe back. She glared at him, but got the hint. It would be up to her to get the details. Assistant to Firstmate. Couldn't be simpler, or cleaner. Nothing like the incredibly inane and childish drama he felt he was in the middle of right at this moment.

Mal tried again to relax and get a read on the room.

Inara's "husband" Xiang Jensen seemed a good enough guy. Older and pretty content with life. He eyed Mal with speculation but without a lot of suspicion - as in, whatever he knew of Mal, the man wasn't threatened. He seemed far more interested in River who hadn't stopped talking to him since they'd sat down.

It was dessert by the time Mal noticed the point to RIver's manipulations. She'd been generously feeding Jayne openings to talk to Jensen about weapons. Jensen had his own collection apparently and River's vast knowledge intrigued him. Thanks to that vast knowledge and the detail with which River spoke, Jayne was happily listening to the description of each and every one of Jensen's inventory and just like that, River had found a way to make it sure that Jayne was keeping his mouth shut on personal matters.

Course even her plans had flaws. For example, the more the three talked, the more personal their conversation turned.

Still, they almost made it. The group was literally getting up out of their chairs to go see this arsenal when Jensen chuckled, putting his arm around River, "Surprised you haven't snapped this one up for yourself already, Jayne my man. She knows almost as much about the history of weaponry as I do."

River froze but could not stop the words that were about to be said. In fact, Jayne didn't miss a beat, "Stealing the Captain's trim ain't good for my life expectancy. Where do you keep those beautiful canons of yours?"

Jensen looked appraisingly over at Mal who, fully aware of everyone else's - particularly Inara's - eyes boring into him, met the look levelly, trying very hard not to look guilty.

Jayne whistled quietly between his teeth, "Mr. Jensen... uh - Sir? The canons? I'm just itching to see them. You don't know what a treat it is for me to see real beauty in our line of work."

Jensen grinned widely and dropped his napkin on his plate, "Happy to oblige, won't you join us River?"

River took Jensen's arm and Mal noticed again that she was not looking for him. Something started brewing dangerously in his belly. _This isn't over, little one._

Their voices had only just started echoing down the halls when Kaylee chirped, "Simon, why don't you help me start measuring our cargo," with an odd nudge to his ribs and wink.

Zoe looked from the Captain to Inara, "You know, I think I've got to be somewhere... else." She pulled out the chair for Jensen's assistant, "So do you."

Alone, again, Inara gave him a crooked smile, "I knew you were hiding something."

"Wasn't exactly hiding it as much as... not announcing it. Frankly..,"

"Don't tell me... It's none of my business?"

Mal inclined his head.

"We were friends once."

"I hope we still are. That doesn't mean you have a say in this."

Inara pursed her lips, "Have you bullied Simon into silence or does he really think she's mentally competent enough to engage in a -"

Mal dropped his napkin to his plate, stared her down. It was a move she'd never understood on his boat - but he knew by the look in her eyes that she got it now. There was a reason he made a good Captain. And it had little to do with bravery or smarts; he didn't take shit from anyone. Not on his turf, not as a guest on someone else's.

He shook his head once, in regret, and pushed away from the table, "You got no right insulting her, insulting ME like that. Mentally competent, my ass, she's more mentally competent than the rest of us put together."

Inara remained seated, posture as straight and resolute as always, "Don't try to make it sound like my concern is baseless -"

"You don't know what you're talking about-"

"And maybe you don't remember that I was there too!" Inara raised her voice to drown him out, "I was there when she first boarded Serenity - I was there when she sliced Jayne's chest because she didn't like the color of his shirt!"

Mal hadn't stopped speaking either, "And you were there when we found out what had happened to her, what was happening to her still - a little latitude might not be out of place."

"I see you've stuck your face in the sand Mal, like always."

"You know what -... I am not a large non-flying dopey bird. And I'll tell you AND River something else. I know my own mind." Mal shook his head, sent an angry challenge to River through the air, then pointed at Inara, "You were always too... sure of your own perfection ... Inara - to see how others could change, could get better..."

"God Mal, so she vomits on the floor and tells you it's all better? You're just going to forget everything - "

"Forget what? How hard it was for her to find her way back from that hell? Or do you think I might forget that she stayed after we lost Wash? No, trust me, Inara, I won't forget any bit of it."

"And that's really it, Mal, isn't it?"

"We all struggled, we all of us mourned. And it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty. But we were there for Zoe. We were there for each other," Mal felt the anger rush through him and welcomed it.

"I wanted to honor my memories of Wash and Shepard Book, not wallow around on a flying funeral dirge!"

"They're dead, 'Nara, they don't need you. We did." Mal shook his head, tried to regain control, "Miranda wasn't just the tipping point for River. Maybe if you'd stuck around you would have seen us all in a different light."

"Just admit it, you took her to your bed because she's the one that stayed."

Mal's hand twitched. If his face could get colder, stonier, it did, "This conversation is done. You were right before. We were friends... once." He turned and started walking toward the shuttle.

Inara didn't let him go five steps before she'd caught up and grabbed his arm. Tears glistened in her eyes, "Mal, please, I'm sorry, that came out wrong."

"Yes, it did." Mal felt her hand on her arm like a brand, "What was your plan here - What do you want from me, 'Nara?"

"I don't know," She dropped her hands to her sides, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you... for all of you. And- I'm sorry too for what happened to her; what she went thru. For God's sake you were trying to dump River and Simon off on any near moon for months and I was the one that begged you to let them stay."

"That was - I - was protecting - Just - what are you bringing that up for-," He was honestly bewildered. He took another steadying breath, "You got yourself a nice home here, a nice man. I appreciate the job, but it don't give you the right to fiddle with me and mine."

"Mal - she's just a girl."

"River ain't _just_ anything." Mal stared at the woman he'd once longed for and wondered if he'd ever be able to look at her again after this.

"You two are just a pair of wounded soldiers - never content to live a normal life - always fighting some imagined war, always running -"

"How many times do we have to go over this? She didn't run. She stayed."

"Yes, she stayed. By your side."

"Yes! By my side. A position you were never okay with."

"Ever the loyal soldier. Just like Zoe, just like all of them. You cart them aimlessly around the universe because you're all scared to death of what might happen if you had to stop and look at your lives!"

Mal cursed, "Are you calling my crew's courage into question, Inara? Is that what you're doin' here?" His voice rose until he was yelling, "Insulting my CREW?"

"Oh God, I forgot, your crew, your crew is your family. Your crew is your army, your servants and your sacrifices. No wonder nothing happened between us, Mal, you think loving your crew is the same as loving a woman..."

"That's something you would know nothing about."

"No? I think I finally see it - River is perfect for you - does she call you Captain everywhere Mal?"

"You do not know the water in which you are treadin'"

For a moment it seemed like maybe she did. She stopped arguing, got her breathing under control and smoothed out her face. Then, with eyes large and wide, Inara searched his face.

Not as confident of her effect on him as she expected to be, she swallowed, cleared her throat, "You wouldn't even fight with me. You froze me out."

Mal didn't catch the shift in her tone, he was still boiling, "We're arguing about who froze who out now? Are you serious?"

"I couldn't stay there, Mal! Not with everything between us dissolving in front of my eyes..."

"I was grieving!" Mal started shaking his head.

"I know what you wanted, Mal. And I know when it changed. What I'm asking is why. Why you'll share yourself with her and you never did with me."

"I didn't want to be your client, Inara. I wanted to be your mate."

"You never made a move!"

Here Mal paused, thinking over his next words carefully, "I would have. I would have any second of any day... if I thought you'd have ever given yourself to me-" He held up a hand to keep her from speaking over him, "Just me."

Inara didn't break eye contact, but waited to speak again - the silence started to ring in his ears, "I wasn't able to... then." The invitation was in her eyes, but the implication so slight in her voice as to be ambiguous if they were overheard.

Mal wanted to look away, but knew they'd both be better off without any loose ends, and he was wanting there to be no miscommunications, "I wouldn't ever have been enough for you Inara and," Mal softened his voice, "I wouldn't ever have loved you the way... you should be loved."

Inara felt the tears dry in her eyes as realization hit her, her words stuck in her throat so that she could barely get them out, "You mean to say - you wouldn't have loved me the way you love her."

Mal inclined his head, watching her carefully.

Inara could hardly breathe, "I see."

Mal watched her, "I'm sorry."

Inara laughed shortly, "For what Mal?"

Mal couldn't think of a reason, so he shrugged, "Is this going to cause a problem? With the job?"

Inara was looking at his left shoulder. She shook her head, "No. No, of course this won't cause any problems with _the job_."

Mal looked at her sideways, that didn't exactly sound perfectly convincing, but he'd have to take it. He racked his brains to figure out a way to exit neutrally, but it seemed Inara was not volunteering any help and he was damn sure done talking.

He mumbled an excuse and headed to find Jensen, River and Jayne.

He found the men, but no River. His annoyance was starting to itch, but he forced himself to let it go. He'd done as well as a man could do when faced with a woman like Inara, when matched with a woman like River. Despite Inara's inability to realize years had passed since River had first tumbled onto Serenity's cargo floor, none of the players in this were children and he wasn't going to treat his relationship like childs play. At Jensen's invitation he set up next to Jayne and they all three went hog wild at Jensen's state of the art target range.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Flee**

**Summary: Mal and the crew get a job from an old friend.**

**A/N: OH this is pure selfish writing. Creating a situation in which Mal and Inara could fight and have out all this baggage that I am so clearly prejudiced about.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or this universe**

River stood at the edge of the fountain and waited. Inara would see her whether she wanted to or not. But it would be Inara's choice whether or not to talk to her. River waited with the breeze, watching drops of water rush around like big city traffic, then spoke only when Inara stepped up beside her, "Your home is lovely. Your life here is good."

Wryly, Inara responded, "A few minutes ago I would have taken that as a blessing. Now, I have to admit it sounds a little bit like you're warning me away from Mal."

River was the only one in the universe who knew just how close Inara had come to packing a bag and attempting to join Serenity again. River liked that Inara understood that, accepted it, "When I was naked you gave me your robe. When I had no money for clothes, you let me have yours. I don't want to be your enemy."

Inara crossed her arms over her chest, "Oh River, you're not my enemy. I just-" She sighed, didn't want to put to words what she knew River could sense. She let all her feelings settle between them, no secrets and turned to look at River for what seemed like the first time, "I kept my distance you know. From everyone on some level or another, but from you especially; maybe I knew. Maybe I could tell that you intrigued him. Maybe even before Mal did." Inara shook her head, "You're both so damned black and white with the world. Like you come from another time.. and you were just so damned scary." Inara looked out across the water, disconcerted, "I didn't - I didn't realize I felt that way. Not really, until this moment. River, I'm sorry."

"It was smart to be frightened of me." River looked over at her, "Inara, you were good to me. Despite how you felt. That means alot to me."

Inara nodded, but suddenly the chasm between them, the man between them, opened up again. "River, don't be angry with me, but you were vulnerable and Mal was this imposing figure - this captain risking life and limb to save you, its no surprise you fell in love with him. But that doesn't mean - I mean, perhaps as you get more confident in your place in the world..."

River didn't respond. Inara tried again, "How did he - I mean, how did you two …"

Memories were as vivid as visions to River, and this one she didn't mind letting herself sink into. Still, she knew how it would sound, how Inara would twist it in her head, so River smiled softly, "That story is ours only." River knew that Inara was not intentionally trying to rip them apart. Or perhaps Inara did not mean to try. But "Do you know why you were afraid of me when the others were not?" Inara shook her head, and River continued, "Because you were very smart. And because you never looked at me."

Inara protested, "River - you might not remember those early days, but I do, I was there. River, you were-" drugged, hallucinating, confused, violent... insane.

"Yes, I was ." River interrupted her again, "So ask yourself how everyone else on Serenity could find me in the chaos, but you could not."

Inara's mind stopped trying to work around the problem that was River and Mal together and reflected on that. She couldn't answer of course and River decided they were done, "You can be happy here. But if your heart is set to flee Captain would welcome you back to Serenity, we would all welcome you back. But you will never recover what you never could have held. And it would be many years before you find this sort of contentment again. " She walked away, feeling no less miserable than she had expected to.

From the way everyone avoided him and hit their chambers early Mal thought his mood must be obvious. He didn't even check in to his shared chambers for River, he went straight to the catwalks above the cargo bay and started climbing, muttering about his age and his trick knee and the gorram assassin psychic he was in love with.

She was there, legs hanging over the edge, crossed at her ankles, face lost to another time and place. Mal sat down next to her, letting his elbows lean over one of the rungs of the catwalk bridge. He struggled for a minute to keep the I told you so from bubbling up out of him; Referring back to River's reluctance to warn him what was coming. Anyway, he decided that wasn't the direction he wanted to take them, "I have a lot going on in my head right now, but I guess you know that. And you also know, it matters less what goes on in there as what I let on outloud. So I guess what matters most to me - what I'm going to tell you right now is that I don't like that you wouldn't look at me."

"I can always see you, even if I'm not looking at you."

"Yeah, well today, I needed you to show some confidence in me. I got this feeling - this bad feeling like you weren't sure how it would turn out."

"I'm sorry. I knew. But could not believe. I needed to see it. I'm sorry."

River twisted so that she could reach his face, put a hand on his cheek and stared at him as if seeing his face for the first time in ages. Mal didn't hide the tension there, nor did he try to still his still fuming thoughts, but it seemed he didn't have a choice. He couldn't see her looking at him in that way that she did and not soften. After a minute the corner of his mouth lifted, "All right, all right, that should do it. I didn't mean you had to go soft on me."

"Sometimes I like to be soft." River pulled her legs up so that she could lean into him, kiss him, then held his hand and returned her gaze to the emptiness in front of them, "I know that your fight was difficult. I'm sorry I couldn't help."

Mal shook his head, "I'm not going to get ornery about your word choice there, but it's been noted."

"You know why."

Mal sighed and covered her hand with his other one, "Just because I know why doesn't make it right. You knew - River you do know..." Flustered, Mal frowned over at River, "You can't have missed my intentions toward you. This," he motioned between them, "We stick. For life or until you get sick of me. This can't be a surprise to you."

"I know," River let her head drop onto his shoulder, sighed, "I do like to hear you say it."

"I'll say it til you wrap me in a wooden overcoat." He kissed the top of her head, then their intertwined hands, "So - this whole Inara fiasco, who are you saying that worked out for?"

"You. Her. Me. No one." River shrugged, "I do not like standing between love."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there ain't no love between her and I - you-"

"I love you. I love her. I won't budge from you." River thought about it, "She loves us too, in her way."

Mal grunted, "River, she is who she is. There's no use regretting that. I don't."

"No. And she'll be happy there. It was good to go through this. Trust me."

Mal rested his cheek against her hair, "Always have, always will."

"I didn't tell Inara, but," River lifted her head so that she could kiss his neck, "I like calling you Captain."

Mal's laugh echoed in the dark cargo bay, before he engaged his mouth in other business entirely.


End file.
